i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
