Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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