sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
I love how my cats smell like pot.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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