shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
