haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
