Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
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