Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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