Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
