I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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