You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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