Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
