soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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