I'm going to jail i love you
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
