You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
FUCK WHALES
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
