You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
