with your own penis?
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
