I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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