woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
