its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
