i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
and she was petting her beer can
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Randomize