Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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