porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Randomize
