do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Randomize
