I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize