I must be too annoying 4 u.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
