Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
