Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Randomize
