he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
