so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
