I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
