I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
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