So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Randomize
