Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
