how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize