but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
