Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
