in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
i dont even know how to be here
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
