Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Randomize
