Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
