My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I need water and some morals
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Randomize
