i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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