hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Randomize
