people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Randomize
