hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I have fence marks all over my body
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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