i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
is this the sara with the beer cane?
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Randomize
