so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
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