I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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