Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Randomize
