Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Your penis caused this!
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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