dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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