I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Randomize
