You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
