Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I supernannyed him into submission
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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