Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize