I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
