I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize