If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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