32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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