let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
