if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
