I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
